Conquering Obstacles in Dating With HIV

published on October 6, 2019 by Stefan Simonovic, in The Good Men Project

Living with HIV is not easy, nor is dating when you have the virus, but it is your ‘new normal’ and some adjustments are definitely required.

Dating after you have been diagnosed with HIV seems like a distant memory. First, there is the initial shock and fear for your overall health, then comes the realization that you are going to have to make some major changes to your lifestyle. Dating is one of them. It is not going to be easy, but there is no reason to give up on finding love. If you don’t want to go through the process of explaining your situation on each new date, you could try dating within a black HIV dating community, or some other smaller dating pool if that is where you feel most at home. It will remove the awkwardness of explaining that you have HIV and you can speak more freely. Of course, finding the right dating environment is just one of the obstacles, there are others that you need to conquer in order to have a full love life despite your diagnosis.

Being open requires a lot of strength

Accepting an HIV diagnosis takes time. Luckily, due to access to modern antiretroviral treatments, HIV has become, in most cases, a manageable condition. Recent research from the BC Centre for Excellence in HIV/AIDS (BC-CfE) has found that people with HIV who get adequate treatment now have a similar life expectancy to those who are HIV-negative. This means that you get to live a full life even with HIV. However, you can still infect others, so you need to be open and honest about your condition with your family, loved ones, and your dates. It is easier to tell to the people you know as there will be less judgment. However, being open to someone new, someone you have just met and only had a date or two requires a lot more strength. But it is important, being HIV positive is not something you should hide from someone you want to be intimate with. You might have to accept rejection, as each person is entitled to their own choice whether or not they feel comfortable dating someone with HIV.

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Conquering Obstacles in Dating With HIV

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